The past few days a few interesting things have happened to me but I either haven’t had a chance to write about them or I didn’t feel as though they warranted a post of their own. Enjoy:
Short Shorts
- Last week I was at Dan’s Cafe in Adam’s Morgan with some friends. While waiting in line for the trash chute that is somehow considered a bathroom, I made conversation with a girl who was picking out a song on the jukebox. She flipped over to “Tunnel of Love”, which is my favorite Bruce Springsteen album. I expressed interest in hearing a track off that record, to which the girl replied, “who is Bruce Springsteen?”. I was slightly taken aback but assumed she was joking. She assured me that she was not and wanted to know if she would have ever heard any of his music before. I was left dumbfounded and then started to get a bit upset. Luckily, the bathroom line moved along or else I would have had to punch the bitch.
- Speaking of Dan’s Cafe, have you ever seen a more disgusting bathroom? I was trying to describe it to my friend Dave from New York who immediately brushed me off, saying that he has been in some gross bathrooms before and there is no way that Dan’s bathroom could top it. After peeing, he quickly admitted to his mistake, saying that this place takes the cake. I’m pretty sure that it hasn’t been cleaned since 1992. I’m pretty sure that Spencer and Heidi had to spend the night in this bathroom on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here. I’m pretty sure that Robin Williams’ character mistook this bathroom for a jungle and was stuck in it for 30 years in Jumanji.
Not Dan's Cafe but it might as well be
- Speaking of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here, who else was thrilled that Lou Diamond Phillips won? Anyone? Ok, well…who else found it hilarious when that guy made out with that girls mom on Real World: Cancun this week? Anyone?
- I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m pretty bored during the day and ready for school to start.
- I bought a desk from IKEA a few weeks ago, which has made it much more comfortable for me to use my computer, which is what caused the resurgence of Summer of Scott postings. My computer, which is a desktop, was previously was on my coffee table and it hurt my back whenever I used it, so I wasn’t able to write for long periods of time without my back hurting. In part two of My Hatred of IKEA, the desk is great and I put it together no problem, but when I bought it the top of the desk was out of stock. Meaning either the Swedish geniuses at IKEA didn’t order enough tops to cover the number of desks they ordered, or some jackass really liked the tops of the desks and decided to buy a bunch of them without the actual desk. Either way, I am using a desk without a top. I need to go back and see if the store has gotten anymore tops in stock, but the store is in College Park (near University of Maryland) and on the Green Line and…(gulps)
- My parents had a party last night and I slept over at their house. Apparently they have been having water pressure issues and something strange happens every time two sources of water run at the same time. Say for instance, you go to the bathroom. You have to wait until the toilet is done flushing before you can wash you hands. If you don’t, the house blows up. Scarily, I am not really joking. When two sources of water run at the same time, a LOUD bellowing starts coming out from the basement, which I guess is the water tank screaming for its life. Someone at the party last night did not understand the concept of one at a time (which is in no way their fault…why my parents don’t get this fixed, I am not sure) and ran the sink water for like a minute. I can only describe the scene as a slightly less intense version of when John Locke didn’t press the button in the Hatch in Season 2 of Lost. The floor started shaking and loud bangs were coming from the walls. People started running outside (I am not making this up). I’m quite curious to see if they get it fixed before the house literally falls apart.
- I just wanted to note that you can follow me on Twitter for other short stories that happen that I do not feel like posting to the site, such as the story that is up right now on how a Korean man named Mr. Joh is now the Presenting Sponsor of my bar in my condo. Follow me at www.twitter.com/scottegold and say hi.
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